Although the basics of wedding invitations haven't changed much over the years, family situations have become more complex than ever. Ceremony and reception locations have also become more varied as couples plan celebrations that truly reflect their personalities.
In an effort to personalize your invitation, you may be tempted to add a favorite Scripture or poem, but adhering to the more traditional wording is still the best plan. The invitation is indeed meant to do what its name implies: ask guests to share your special day. If you want to use other wording or a sentimental verse, save it to include in your wedding program. When it comes to the actual wording, etiquette has softened a bit with the times, but it still offers comfortable ways to work through difficult family situations that may arise. Perhaps your parents are divorced but still plan to host the reception together, or maybe it's a second wedding and the two of you want to issue the invitations yourselves. If so, you'll need to know how to put it in writing. The beauty of the following step-by-step advice is that it guides you through every line of your invitation. With the proper wording to reflect your own situation, you can finalize the who, when, and where of one of the most memorable days of your life.
Using the handy step-by-step guide on the opposite page and the easy line-by-line explanations below, you and your fiance will be ready to compose the perfect wedding invitation.
INVITATIONAL LINE
The first line, the "invitational line," just as its name suggests, simply tells who is issuing the invitation. It typically includes the bride's parents' names since they traditionally host the wedding, or the invitational line may include the couple's names if they are hosting the wedding themselves.
REQUEST LINE
The line that actually invites your guests to the wedding varies depending on where you plan to marry. Use "request the honour of your presence" if you plan to wed in a church, synagogue, or other house of worship. Use "request the pleasure of your company" if you are marrying outdoors, at home, or at another venue such as a hotel or historical site. The preferred spelling for "honour" and "favour" is a matter of personal preference. "Honour" is the more traditional, English version. Whichever spelling you choose, use it consistently throughout your wedding
correspondence.
BRIDE'S NAME
The bride's two given names are shown on this line. Her last name is also included if it is different from her parents' last name, if the groom's parents' names are also on the invitation and she wants to add her last name for clarity, or if she and her fiance are issuing the invitations themselves.
JOINING WORD
Traditional wording often uses the preposition "to" since the bride will be
married "to" her groom; however, traditional Jewish invitations include the word "and" between the bride's name and the groom's name to indicate the joining of two families. You will also find "and" used in the traditional wording for invitations to many Catholic ceremonies. Basically the use of "to" or "and" in both wedding invitations and announcements is a personal preference.
The use of "to" or "and" on a line alone allows the bride's and groom's names to stand out when one first glances at the invitation. When both sets of parents' names are at the top of the invitation, using "and" between them is not improper, but it will reduce the impact of the bride's and groom's names. In this situation, if you wish to include "and," the best solution is to add it on the same line as the groom's parents' names.
GROOM'S NAME
Along with the groom's full name, include the title "Mr." on the invitation under most circumstances. If he is a doctor, the title "Doctor" should be written in full, not abbreviated.
DATE LINE, YEAR LINE
Do not use abbreviations or numerals on the date line; each word should
be written out. Add "morning" or "evening" after the day only if the time of the wedding might otherwise be interpreted either way. If you plan to marry at nine o'clock, for example, that could refer to morning or evening and would need clarification. Adding a line for the year is a matter of personal choice; it is not necessary, but it is also not improper. You may want to include it since your wedding invitation will be a keepsake for generations to come. The year should always be included on wedding announcements since they are mailed after the wedding has taken place. You will occasionally see the word "on" used before the date, but it is preferable to omit it.
TIME LINE
If you plan to marry on the hour, the time line simply reads "at five o'clock," but if your wedding is scheduled for 5:30, it should read "at half after five o'clock."
LOCATION
Always include the full name of the wedding site, with no abbreviations. If you plan to marry at home, simply include the full address. You may use the phrase "at the residence of" if you plan to marry at the home of friends.
LOCATION ADDRESS
Since you rarely need to include the exact street address of your ceremony site unless two sites share the same name, the city and state serve as the address. If your reception will be held at the same site, you may add the line "and afterwards at the reception" following the city and state.
FOOTNOTES
A brief footnote may be added at the bottom of your invitation to indicate proper attire or another special circumstance, and may be positioned in the left corner, right corner, or bottom center. Keep in mind that it should be no more than a word or two; too much copy and the words will be small and difficult to read. A footnote that's too long can also detract from the look of your invitation by throwing the copy off balance.
A footnote may be added to a traditional wedding invitation, if the ceremony and reception will take place at the same location and if you do not choose to include a separate reception card.
That is it! There are a thousand (or maybe more!) things that you need to think about before your wedding day. Hopefully, finding the right wording for your wedding invitation won't be one of them.
Tim Kilroy is a writer living in Boston who cries not only at weddings, but when he gets a wedding invitation in the mail.
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